Friday, July 17, 2015

Bitter Bloggings From and Optimistic Actress: Frankly My Dear...

Actors of the net!  Lend me your ears!

I implore you, ladies and gents.  Stop posting certain things to facebook.  Things that can destroy your image.  Things that make your fellow actors dislike you and talk behind your back.  Things that, in the end, just make you look like you're desperate for attention and need an intervention.

Facebook, in general, is actually a terrible place.  It was originally meant to push people closer together.  Now, if I have an unpopular opinion, I open myself to the ridicule of ten people who want to tell me how wrong I am and they threaten to unfriend me, at which point I usually don't have the energy to unfriend them.  Can we get to the unfriending already?!

Honestly if not for the fact my agent posts casting calls in a private facebook feed I would never even get on facebook anymore.  The whole place just tends to throw me into random fits of rage.  If I do find some redeeming quality, ie. showing my family photos of what I did with my day off, I end up having to deal with the following, and it just makes me want to punch concrete.

I don't care if you auditioned for this or that part.  I am auditioning for the same parts.  It's equivalent to saying, hey guys, my job is to go to interviews and I just booked an interview.  If I posted every time I submitted for something, got an audition or got a callback, I would be online 24/7.
This does not include when you are traveling to a town, if you are coming to town to do a show, film something, passing through on your way somewhere, then please let me know.  If I am there, I would love to see you.

I honestly do not care if you got that part you just auditioned for.  Half the time, films that we get parts in don't even come to fruition.  Also, you have no idea if you were the first pick, or the fifth.  How do you know someone you were very close to hadn't quietly down that part they really wanted due to a shooting date conflict and you happened to be the next in line?  Now, that is sowing the seeds of animosity right there.  How do you know that half the people on your facebook page didn't just audition for the same role that you got?  This goes more than just for the ladies.  Gentlemen, you are just as bad.  If you book a role, you're entire facebook friendom does not need to know.  You can wait until the film is shot and, once you have seen yourself in it, invite people to find you.  *A side note: Please only do this if you have lines.*

Stop posting photos of yourselves in your underwear.  Unless you made the cover of Victoria's Secret or Sports Illustrated or you are in a film where the sole outfit you spend your time in consists of your bra, there is no reason to post pics of yourself in your underwear.  I spend hours wading through a sea of scantily-clad women as it is.  It's a bit like watching Game of Thrones.  After an hour, my own boobs aren't as special due to the over excess of boob.  Posting fifty pictures of you in your underwear does not tell me in any way shape or form that you're are a strong woman of confidence.  This tells me you need the attention of men to survive.  Have you noticed 90% of the people who respond to a picture of you in your underwear are men?  This is not because they respect you dear.  This is because they are using that pic as a pregame.  Nope, you don't even get to be the main event, that's when the switch to porno to look at women.  

In fact, stop acting like a picture of you in your underwear pouting at the camera longingly is some kind of feminism.  It's not.  You want men to look at you because it makes you feel like you are worth something.  It's OK.  If your self-worth is based off that, go for it, and admit to it.

NO ACTORS IN HEAVEN

My mother has always had an interesting notion of the afterlife and heaven.  Or maybe it's the way most people of her generation see it.  There is God's great immaculate throne and around him is everyone singing in their white robes and praising God with instrument, all quite suddenly able to do whatever you want.  Nothing but happiness and joy.  And everyone is always laying down their crowns in reverence to God.

Now I have no problem with reverence or respect to the creator of the universe.  I mean, he did make EVERYTHING and me and I do owe him EVERYTHING I HAVE.  Nothing wrong with that.  But I have always seen it differently.

I know many people are kind of upset with this version of heaven.  Singing and playing harps for all eternity.  Does seem repetitive and boring.  And maybe, your point of view changes when you pass on.  I have never seen it this way though.  Most of the time, to me, I have this view of heaven.

It's beautiful.  MASSIVE!  This biggest, most lush, place you have ever seen.  There is love everywhere and it's so strong you can feel it, physically in the air.  And that is God.  He is everywhere and everyone knows.  The residents are as they were meant to be in Eden, innocent, and yet intelligent.  You spend your post earthly life living the way we were intended.  We can go and speak with God as you would any friend, and father, and teacher.  Jesus is there and you can sit with him a while and listen to him.  And the Holy Spirit is there like the sun, a constant reminder of God's presence.  There are seasons and change so you don't get bored, like you could.  You always learn and get better at things.  There is no pain or suffering or loss, but I think there is occasional sadness.  Not the sadness from death or pain from losing someone, but there is the longing to be around someone you know.  The sadness you get after a long happy evening with a good friend you never want to end.  But it is never followed by the sadness of never seeing them again.  All that is good and wonderful in this life is also good and wonderful in the next.

What do we not have?  Doctors and nurses aren't needed, because there is no disease.  Teachers, I think, will still teach.  And Actors, and here is where I differ from many, can be more focused on the things they love to do.  No, I don't think acting is something you do in heaven.  I think there will be music, because God loves music, but Acting is didactic.  It's there to teach a moral lesson.  And in heaven why do you need to show how terrible people can be?  In Heaven there are no terrible people.  No one needs to be reminded of how violent and angry the people whom God created made themselves to be.  Heaven won't be a place to be reminded constantly of how far we fell from God.  No, it's a place to be with him finally.  And since God can wipe those sins away as if we never committed such acts, why would he remind us of them once in his house?

I like to think Heaven is beautiful and astounding and always changing around the one constant thing in the universe, God.  And that is a beautiful thought indeed.