Confessions of a G-List Actress:THIS IS NOT NORMAL!
I missed the leaves falling this year. It's not that I was out of state and unable to see. I went to my dentist this morning. I was the first appointment I think, and on my way back, while forcing myself to eat my bagel and coffee, I looked around at the bare trees and thought ,"How did I miss fall?"
I sit here, in my office, typing these words of wisdom to you, anyone without at least one extremely rich parent or an adult who isn't independently wealthy with loads of time on their hands who wants to be an actor. Take it from a smart actress who has made her mistakes and continues to learn.
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!! RUN! GO MARRY A NICE BOY OR GIRL AND LIVE A NORMAL LIFE! A LIFE WHERE YOU DON'T WORK 5 JOBS TO SURVIVE AND YOU CAN AFFORD TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! A LIFE WHERE YOU DON'T HAVE TO QUIT YOUR JOB BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND OFF! A GLORIOUS LIFE WITH CHILDREN AND FRIENDS!
No, this life is not for everyone. In a normal life you don't have to go to work in Winston-Salem until 3pm on a Thursday. Afterwards you leap quickly into your already packed car and drive five hours to Atlanta, GA for an audition or three. You get just enough sleep. If you can't afford a hotel or you don't have a friend in town, this could be in your car. You get up at 7am after having a sleepless night and drive to a location on Friday. Lead, principal or an extra, it doesn't matter because it's credit and just enough money, likely around $100, to constitute the cash you spent to get down there, or at least it will in the nearly two months of wait time it takes for the check to arrive in your mailbox. You're lucky today, they are prepped and on time and you are fifteen minutes or more early. You are never less than fifteen minutes early, if not, you are late.
In a normal life you don't have to get done with five hours of work to have to drive six hours back to Raleigh, as soon as your done with your post filming audition. In real life you don't knock on a friends door at 3 am and pass out on their sofa or in their bed only to know you have to wake up at 6am to film something forty-five minutes away, but this was the closest you were going to get without having to rent a hotel. And that price adds up. You pray there isn't anything good on TV, because if there is, you will watch it and forgo sleep. In real life a 6am wake up call to be on set and prepped at 8am after only three hours sleep would be ludicrous, especially on a Saturday. But you wake up. You can't help it. You couldn't sleep anyways. The set is long. You try to find places to sleep, but you are in the middle of nowhere in an open field with cars full of equipment. You manage to rest in between takes. You can feel a sore throat and stuffy nose coming on. You hope it isn't catching because you have to make out with that guy you may or may not like. Still, always polite, you brush your teeth and rinse like you are prepping to make out with the hottest man on the planet. This action could very well be to hide the sour cream and onion chips or the infection you feel brewing in your throat. Either way, you don't want to be accused of severe halitosis. In the back of your mind you pray he did the same. He didn't.
In normal life you don't drive back to Raleigh to pile on even more auditions, or perhaps you have rehearsal. You have friends right? It would be nice to visit. Let's see you have forty five minutes. You could squeeze in some coffee, but no one is available. Next time. You rehearse until 11 and then crash at the same friends house, setting your alarm even earlier. 4 am. You have to be in Charlotte at 8am for a small part in something. You are dangerously low on cash and cross your fingers they will pay cash when you get there. Hint: they won't.
In a normal life on Sunday you get to sleep, but not in this life. In this life you oversleep by about twenty minutes and rush out the door like a crazy person, breaking speed limits left and right. Did you remember to eat? You didn't, but you don't remember. They didn't give you a contact number so you frantically look for someone to call to say you are running late. The words running out of your mouth and through your head would make a seasons sailor blanch and steady themselves on the furniture. Total sleep in the past four days? Ten hours, and you aren't even close to done. You get there, dress and wait for hours. You rest, but it's hardly sleep. You wake up at your name and rush to set. You are there for less than an hour.
In normal life, on your drive home, you don't get two texts from friends who want you to audition for their indie films that just happen to be along the way. Might as well right?
In normal life your agent doesn't give you two auditions to tape that night when you get home and ask if you can come back to Atlanta the next day for an audition at noon. You call in and beg a coworker to take over for your shift that starts in less than ten hours. You get your auditions into the CDs on the casting website just in time for another five hours of sleep before waking up and hopefully having the energy to drive back to Atlanta for the second time this week. You rush back to make sure you get into your other job on time and your work a forty hour week at one job and various other hours with your other three, all while rehearsing a show two hours away four days a week. You've given two weeks, more likely three months, notice that you need those days off and you are getting paid well for this part so you won't be in. You hope they will give you the days off. Hint: They don't.
So I beg you. All you poor actors and people with no money who want to pursue this. You have been warned. It's not a bunch of fame or reknown. It's hard sleepless work, and for those of us working more than one job. It's a sprint into the unknown darkness.
I sit here, in my office, typing these words of wisdom to you, anyone without at least one extremely rich parent or an adult who isn't independently wealthy with loads of time on their hands who wants to be an actor. Take it from a smart actress who has made her mistakes and continues to learn.
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!! RUN! GO MARRY A NICE BOY OR GIRL AND LIVE A NORMAL LIFE! A LIFE WHERE YOU DON'T WORK 5 JOBS TO SURVIVE AND YOU CAN AFFORD TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! A LIFE WHERE YOU DON'T HAVE TO QUIT YOUR JOB BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND OFF! A GLORIOUS LIFE WITH CHILDREN AND FRIENDS!No, this life is not for everyone. In a normal life you don't have to go to work in Winston-Salem until 3pm on a Thursday. Afterwards you leap quickly into your already packed car and drive five hours to Atlanta, GA for an audition or three. You get just enough sleep. If you can't afford a hotel or you don't have a friend in town, this could be in your car. You get up at 7am after having a sleepless night and drive to a location on Friday. Lead, principal or an extra, it doesn't matter because it's credit and just enough money, likely around $100, to constitute the cash you spent to get down there, or at least it will in the nearly two months of wait time it takes for the check to arrive in your mailbox. You're lucky today, they are prepped and on time and you are fifteen minutes or more early. You are never less than fifteen minutes early, if not, you are late.
In normal life you don't drive back to Raleigh to pile on even more auditions, or perhaps you have rehearsal. You have friends right? It would be nice to visit. Let's see you have forty five minutes. You could squeeze in some coffee, but no one is available. Next time. You rehearse until 11 and then crash at the same friends house, setting your alarm even earlier. 4 am. You have to be in Charlotte at 8am for a small part in something. You are dangerously low on cash and cross your fingers they will pay cash when you get there. Hint: they won't.
In a normal life on Sunday you get to sleep, but not in this life. In this life you oversleep by about twenty minutes and rush out the door like a crazy person, breaking speed limits left and right. Did you remember to eat? You didn't, but you don't remember. They didn't give you a contact number so you frantically look for someone to call to say you are running late. The words running out of your mouth and through your head would make a seasons sailor blanch and steady themselves on the furniture. Total sleep in the past four days? Ten hours, and you aren't even close to done. You get there, dress and wait for hours. You rest, but it's hardly sleep. You wake up at your name and rush to set. You are there for less than an hour.In normal life, on your drive home, you don't get two texts from friends who want you to audition for their indie films that just happen to be along the way. Might as well right?
In normal life your agent doesn't give you two auditions to tape that night when you get home and ask if you can come back to Atlanta the next day for an audition at noon. You call in and beg a coworker to take over for your shift that starts in less than ten hours. You get your auditions into the CDs on the casting website just in time for another five hours of sleep before waking up and hopefully having the energy to drive back to Atlanta for the second time this week. You rush back to make sure you get into your other job on time and your work a forty hour week at one job and various other hours with your other three, all while rehearsing a show two hours away four days a week. You've given two weeks, more likely three months, notice that you need those days off and you are getting paid well for this part so you won't be in. You hope they will give you the days off. Hint: They don't.So I beg you. All you poor actors and people with no money who want to pursue this. You have been warned. It's not a bunch of fame or reknown. It's hard sleepless work, and for those of us working more than one job. It's a sprint into the unknown darkness.
If there is any justice in the world you will one day be famous, because you are very very good at what you do and maybe even more importantly, you aren't just sitting around waiting for stuff to fall into your lap but going out and getting it. I count myself fortunate to have you on the project--you've brought so much more to the character than was in the script. I intend to take full credit for it though, just saying.
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